I guess you'll do.

this weekend, a bunch of friends and I went rafting! just outside canyon city, almost as far west as the royal gorge (though I wouldn't really know because I've never been there), there's bighorn sheep canyon. it was pretty fun. I liked it. I like rafting. and being outside with fresh air and rocks and mountains and water.

I also got to ride with some friends I don't see very often: katie, matthew, and phil. now, granted, katie and I are barely friends. but her dad was the youth pastor growing up in indiana and she knows my cadet brother jordan! small world. (so we're pretty much best friends, right?) anyway: matthew and phil seem to be guys who I could be good friends with, but somehow we rarely all see eachother. matthew provided plenty of geographical insight on the drive, as well as more pop music entertainment than expected, and before nodding off phil provided a blast of orbitz mint mojito gum. mmm.

at one point, our conversation drifted briefly into relationships. aside from teasing me about the guide (who all the girls seemed to like. but he's 22. come on.), someone mentioned parental pressure to just find someone and get married. I thought: how absurd. granted, there's something noble about being committed no matter what when things get tough, but seriously? just find someone? I'll wait 'till I'm 35 over just finding someone and making it work. how boring is that? I'd be bitter by 27 if that's the case.

sometimes I feel like my conservative christian friends (yes. I'm one of them. but like to distance myself when appropriate.) are so focused on finding a mate and getting married and moving on and having kids and serving others in that way that we miss out on loving people here and now. there are so many opportunities to love people and have friends and be involved in the community, and we're missing out on a lot of it because we have a woe is me I'm not married yet attitude. and we women have beauty to offer the world that doesn't have to be tied to a relationship or a family. we encourage others to be who they are. we offer patience and courage and wisdom and strength wherever we can. (I'm almost done reading Captivating, can you tell?) if we're self-focused now, it's not like marriage or engagement or even a nice romance will cure us of this singleness disease. it'll cure the single part, but not perhaps what's making us insecure about it.

it was especially funny that last night my mom actually commented, after a short update on her friend's kids who are my age and what they're doing with their lives, she said "I'm glad you're not married to a jerk" which has more of a story pertaining to her life than anyone else. but it was pretty loaded. better to be single than make an I'm young and you're attractive mistake. or, for that matter, an I want to be married now and you'll do mistake.

don't settle, girls.